Some interesting Dilbert Quotes I collected

Scott Adam: "a sophisticated theory for the existence of bizarre workplace behavior: People are idiots"
(1999)

Monkey: "Evolution favors monkeys. Eventually, humans will be kept in cages as pets..."
Dilbert: "BAH! Impossible! We humans will never allow ourselves to be treated like that! NOW GET OUT OF MY CUBICLE!"
(09/2005)

pointy haired boss:
"I just heard that light travels faster than sound. I'm wondering if I should shout when I speak, just so my lips appear to sync up with my words."
(09/2005)

"I might have no budget and no staff to help me on my project, but that doesn't matter.
Because all I need are my wits and my computer."
...Dilbert (04/09/2005)

Dogbert's Tech Support:
"I like to base my help on how happy you expect to be." (04/07/2005)
 
Dilbert: "Why does sucess make me hate humanity?"
Pointy Haired Boss: "They deserve it."

"I like to con people, and I like to insult people.
If you combine con and insult, you get CONSULT."
..............................Dogbert

"The total time that humans have waited for web pages to load
...cancels out all the productivity gains of the information age."
 
"Smart, Well-informed people were evenly divided. Therefore, logically, that proves that intelligence is not a factor, so voting is absurd."
...Wally (02/17/2005)

"When things don't sound evil enough on their own, I like to toss in a BU-WHA-HA-HA-HA."
.........Catbert (02/04/2005)

"Stop ruining my slogans with your logic!"
....Pointy Haired boss (01/23/2005)


"My philosophy is that anything worth doing is too hard."
.......Wally (12/27/2004)

"Call me shallow, but I enjoy getting paid for other people's inventions."
....Pointy Haired Boss (11/29/2004)

"If it weren't urgent, it would be e-mail"

Info tech age's nightmare...

食譜單位換算表

固體類 / 油脂類

1杯（量杯）＝ 16大匙 ＝ 227公克
1大匙 ＝ 15公克
1小匙 ＝ 5公克
1磅(lb) ＝ 454公克(g)＝16盎司(oz) ＝約12兩
1盎司(oz) ＝ 28.37公克(g)
1公斤(Kg)＝1000公克(g)＝2.2磅(lb)

1台斤 ＝ 16兩 ＝ 600公克(g)
1兩 ＝ 10錢 ＝ 37.5公克(g)
1錢 ＝3.75公克


液體類
1杯（量杯）＝ 16大匙 ＝ 240㏄ (1 CUP)
1大匙 ＝ 15㏄ (1 TABLESPOON)
1小匙 ＝ 5㏄ (1 TEASPOON)


材料類

奶油 1大匙 ＝ 13公克(g)
乳瑪淋 1大匙 ＝ 14公克(g)
沙拉油 1大匙 ＝ 14公克(g)

牛奶 1大匙 ＝ 14公克(g)
麵粉 1杯 ＝ 120公克(g)
1大匙 ＝ 7公克(g)
1小匙 ＝ 2.5公克(g)
玉米粉 1大匙 ＝ 12.6公克(g)

可可粉 1大匙 ＝ 7公克(g)
乾酵母 1大匙 ＝ 7公克(g) 1小匙 ＝ 3公克(g)
發粉(BAKING POWDER) 1大匙 ＝ 12公克(g) 1小匙 ＝ 4公克(g)
小蘇打(BAKING SODA) 1小匙 ＝ 4.7公克(g)

塔塔粉 1小匙 ＝ 3.2公克(g)
全蛋 1個 ＝ 55公克(g)
蛋黃 1個 ＝ 20公克(g)
蛋白 1個 ＝ 35公克(g)

細砂糖 1杯 ＝ 180公克(g) 1大匙 ＝ 12公克(g) 1小匙 ＝ 4公克(g)
糖粉 1杯 ＝ 130公克(g)
糖漿 1大匙 ＝ 21公克(g)
棉白糖(過篩) 1杯 ＝ 130公克(g)

so this is what engineers do at work

office news (from my boss):


in just one week's time, "DeSimone Rat" got abused, maimed, and rat-napped, during which time he (she) had both his (her) tail and one ear cut off. The rat returned this morning, along with an anonymous questionnaire asking which staff member violated the rat in what way.

We had a staff meeting this morning to discuss the situation, and it was finally revealed by the perpetrators that:

Shawhin put the rat on top of the bagels in the bagel box last Friday. (Nasty)

Clinton found the rat in the bagel box, was disgusted and repulsed that the rat would do such a thing, and in retaliation to the rat, he shoved the rat face first into the toaster and pulled his (her?) tail off. (Brutal)

Jiri came in late Friday night and pulled the rat's mended tail off, and then he tried to drown the rat by putting him in the filtered water container in the refrigerator. (We believe that alcohol was involved that led up to this action)

Nic R and Clinton rat-napped the rat late Monday evening, and left a threatening note that we would never see the rat alive again unless we complied with their demands to provide donuts with sprinkles on top during our 401(k) meeting this morning. To show that they were serious, they severed the rat's ear and left it on Robin's desk, along with their threatening note. We very reluctantly gave in to these demands, because we did not want to see that rat harmed anymore and we wanted him returned safely (although not necessarily in one piece).

Fortunately, the rat is now happily back at work and is keeping Robin company at her desk.

EQ + full Live Load

This happened back in October, 2004.

One day I was walking with my friends, W and J, on campus, and we were talking about why there's no point in dressing up to classes.

Both W and J agreed that engineering students are just too busy and have no time to dress up in the morning before classes.

And here's my response: "The probability of bumping into a good person on campus is as low as having the full live load during an earthquake, so why bother dressing up?"

shear "wall"

Prof. F: "Wow!!! There's a shear wall here!.........

............What's a shear 'wall' doing on the floor?"

(turned out it's prob. just a piece of shear wall section lying on the floor, for class demonstration.)

geeky prof

One day when my "Structural Reliability" prof was playing some game with his friends, the game required two dices which they didn't have...

so my prof.......programmed a simulation that generates two uniformly distributed numbers between 1 and 6 on his calculator...

O_o

2 geeky things I did back in 4th year

I'm trying to make a record of all the geeky things I've done. Here are two from my last year of university life:

1. one day I was taking some vitamin, I saw "38 MM" engraved on the inside of the cap. Without hesitation, I took out my ruler. Indeed, the diameter of the cap was 38mm.

2. I found out that muscles are weaker against torsion...because it is easier to twist the iron ring off my finger instead of pulling it off.